Courage—this word hasn’t left me since the start of the year. I’ve felt a gap in my ability to tap into it. Let’s face it: courage is a powerful word, and I’d love for it to be one of my core values! But the truth is, it’s not. It doesn’t drive me or embody the essence of my mission. Yet, I recognize that I need a hefty dose of it this year.
I’ve been navigating significant decisions, especially with two relationships ending—both intimate and work-related. It’s a significant crossroad, to say the least. Some of these choices have felt like daggers to my sense of security and my need to belong. I’ve been scared, reaching out for courage—my courage to see myself and confront parts of myself I havnt’t been able to look at for most of my adult life. If you’ve read my previous Substack post, "From Caterpillar to Butterfly," you might wonder: haven’t you already been here? Wasn’t that about discovering your voice and finding the courage to follow your passion?
It absolutely was. Ten years ago, I faced myself and did the work. But this journey is ongoing, and this transition is yet another layer to peel back, another wound to heal, another part of myself that demands courage—the courage to look, acknowledge, and heal.
“Courage is rumbling with vulnerability.” - Brene Brown
Now is the moment to share my biggest fears. Guess what? They’re not so different from what many experience: the fear of being seen, the fear of not being enough, of being too much. These wounds lie at the core of my development, like roots intertwined beneath the surface—hidden yet powerful. Some of my deepest behavioral patterns run as deep as those roots, simple in appearance but gripping my personality so tightly that I’m terrified to let them go.
I’ve done so much work, only to discover there’s still more to do. Humbled by life once again, I know it’s time to step into that vulnerable space where I can admit: I have no clue what I’m doing—and that’s okay because I’m going to figure it out.
These words from David Whyte resonated with me this morning:
“To be courageous is not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences.”
I once thought courage was reserved for superheroes—a strength that allowed you to leap into the fire, to take bold risks. But true courage isn’t found in grand gestures; it resides in the quiet embrace of our emotions and the intricate web of relationships that truly matter.
“To be courageous is to stay close to the way we are made.”
I’m learning to become intimate with my feelings, to articulate my fears, and to observe them with self-empathy. It’s a messy process, and how human it is to navigate these complexities. I’m committed to letting these discoveries inform my choices. This journey of leaning into vulnerability—where courage intertwines with love—shapes not just my decisions but the very essence of who I am becoming. Once again, the lesson dawns: it’s okay to be in the messy middle, to hold my fears close, and to step forward anyway.
“Courage is what love looks like when tested by the simple everyday necessities of being alive.”
Leaning into my yoga practice during this time, I want to share a free offering with you: a 30-minute asana practice titled "Discover Your Hidden Strengths." You can join me here. It will also include a special offer should you wish to claim it.
Always loving,
Tahl
